Cyanotype on archival watercolor paper, 30” x 22” 2022

Cyanotype on archival watercolor paper, 30” x 22”, 2022

Cyanotype on archival watercolor paper, 30” x 22”, 2022

Cyanotype on archival watercolor paper, 30” x 22”, 2022

Cyanotype on archival watercolor paper, 30” x 22”, 2022

March 26th: Last week and this week we were supposed to be on vacation visiting good friends.  Obviously that didn’t pan out so I decided instead to devote this bizarre time to things and people that make me genuinely happy.  Making art and making pictures with 6x7cm film (at a safe distance) seemed like the best thing to do during this time of social distancing. 

March 27th: These photo sessions are really brief, less than 2 minutes. Because I’m using medium format 6x7cm film, I take no more than 3-4 frames. There is not much directing. I have no idea where I will photograph or what the light will be like. There is a complete loss of control. This, I enjoy. Acceptance of the unknown, curiosity, awareness, and faith settle in. I am not prepared, nor planning or overthinking. I become fully present, trust, let go, and allow intuition to take over. A valuable practice while navigating these unbelievable times.

March 28th: The thing I’ve been the most preoccupied with since this all began is our government’s lack of preparedness to protect the populations most at risk, public health & service workers, and workers at essential businesses.  Mental health providers and social workers are dealing with people who are not in safe situations and meanwhile are holding space for the collective trauma and grief of everyone they encounter.  Teachers are helping students and parents navigate this confusing time.  Single parents are having to work and somehow take care of their kids in the same breath.  Millions have lost jobs. And in all of this the Earth is still spinning and temporarily healing while we’ve all been sent to our rooms.  At the moment I’m in the privileged spot of pondering all of this. When it becomes overwhelming, I close my eyes, take three deep breaths, and on my last inhale and exhale, send the highest of vibrations to all of these people directly affected. 

Mar 29th: What really matters? Maybe you’ve been asking yourself this, maybe not. A month or so ago I was asked what an abundant life looks like. That question felt impossible to answer because we are all interconnected and if I can’t see abundance for everyone then it’s hard to see it for myself. I see this pandemic mostly as a continual spread of disease over our entire corrupt government, corporations, systems, institutions, and how it values money over human beings. It’s always been this way in the US since I’ve been alive. But I equally see an abundance of love, compassion, bravery, resilience, emotional strength, spirit, and interconnectedness during this time. So maybe that’s the answer to the question. Maybe that’s something we can all carry within.

Mar 30th: These past 16 days of staying at home has been a reminder that time is of great value. I’ve slowed down and paused enough to witness the trees and plants in my backyard and neighborhood bloom before my eyes. Nature is more vivid. Bees are pollinating fruit trees and worms are partying in the soil. People’s eyes are glowing. As much as I’d like for things to be different, I’ve learned to embrace this new time vortex where the days feel kinda short and the weeks feel like months. Own your time, own what you choose to do with it, and don’t give it away freely.

Mar 31st: Whatever we might be hiding from, running away from, and numbing ourselves with may find us when forced to slow down. A big bright light might shine on all of it. In this crazy unbalanced world of capitalism on steroids, productivity, keeping busy, and hamster wheel behavior we’ve learned to not listen to our bodies because our minds have been running the show. We instead numb ourselves with consumption of just about anything and everything we can grab onto to fill the void and to get away from “that feeling” we don’t want to feel. Or maybe we don’t even know what our feelings are. It’s a great time to remember that we aren’t machines, we’re human beings (that’s cute, I just rhymed). These are the times that test the human spirit. Hopefully, things will be truly learned, we will awaken, and there will be a shift of consciousness within us and society as a whole.

Apr 1st: I’m finding that what I miss most about daily life are the little nuances. For instance, walking into Live Oak Market where they are either blasting Bobby Brown or Metallica’s Ride the Lightning. If Bobby is on, then I’ll running-man my way to the kombucha aisle. If it’s Metallica, it’s a head-bang swagger to the sparkling water fridge. Another is hearing my elderly neighbor lecturing her tiny dogs - I can’t hear her anymore because she’s got a mask on now and it’s just a high pitched muffle. Finger drumming on the counter with my buddy who works at Holland Photo while we wait for my credit card to process. Petting random animals. Hugging my friends, their kids, and holding their new babies. Biting my nails. I’m feeling really grateful that this is all I’m missing right now.

Apr 2nd: Watch who stands to become even richer than ever during this crisis. Are y’all paying attention? Follow the money and power grabs. For example, Jeff Bezos has enough money. Our economy and local economies probably won’t be okay for a while. Today we decided to cancel our Amazon Prime and will no longer shop at Amazon. I’m sure by doing this we won’t affect Amazon at all. Even if 10,000 people canceled Prime and stopped shopping there it wouldn’t matter. Instead of listing all of the obvious reasons to cancel Prime/not shop at Amazon, I’d rather the sentiment be to support local economies or other online retailers.

Apr 3rd: Today, I am mostly feeling anger and a sense of injustice. This pandemic will disproportionately affect the elderly population (especially those stuck in nursing homes) and those with underlying health conditions. What measures are being taken to prevent unnecessary deaths in these groups? I’m confused why there is no public health message on how to keep healthy?

Apr 4th: Happiness during a pandemic = seeing my friend’s baby for the first time as they open their front door wearing his and hers Crocs. They are transcending stay at home fashion with an infant.

Apr 6th: Every morning when I wake up I run through a set of affirmations. One of them is “I wonder what great thing will happen today?” Never imagined that the great thing might be finally finding dish soap, hand soap, and toilet paper at the store.

Apr 7th: Four Ways of Looking. Stare up at the sky for peace and clarity. Glance down at your feet - rock them back and forth for grounding. Spin yourself slowly - notice life and energy all around you. Look within and dig into the truth.

Apr 8th: Since Jan 1st I’ve had this inner voice telling me something monumental would happen this year. It’s safe to assume it’s this pandemic we are all experiencing. But in the past few days I’ve learned that Joe Exotic is my second cousin, once removed. I mean, damn. How confusing. Touché, 2020.

Apr 9th: Things I’ve heard in my neighborhood around 8pm - someone singing and playing guitar, people cheering, and people howling at the moon. I’m mostly interested in that last one and wondering how we can make that continue even when this is over.

Apr 10th: One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is the gift of our full attention. Even if it’s a short amount of time, make it quality time. This is already something of tremendous importance to me, but I’ve been thinking that if there was a greater commitment to focusing on relationships in our personal lives, how that might enhance our overall health and happiness. And even more importantly, in terms of a chain effect, how that could influence how our society operates within politics, all of its systems, institutions, and corporations. Stronger relationships equal a stronger collective “we”. It seems that the world needs this not only right now, but in the future too. A culture that is too skewed has proven to be unhealthy and damaging and I sincerely hope moving forward that our society adapts to what’s really needed.

Apr 11th: James, the 3 year old little boy in this photo, greeted me from inside his backyard fence by saying, “Hey do you want to hear a song?” I braced myself for a Disney song I didn’t know because I don’t have kids. Much to my incredible delight, he started singing/screaming Master of Puppets by Metallica. Hands down one of the top highlights of the past month. Thank you, James. Is James trying to tell us something?

Come crawling faster (faster)

Obey your master (master)

Your life burns faster (faster)

Obey your

Master!

Master!

Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings.

Apr 13th: The good news is that this is all temporary. Yes, it’s incredibly heavy to not know how long this will last or if the virus will re-emerge at some point. It’s painfully difficult to know that there is unnecessary loss and that inevitably there will be more of it. What we may be experiencing is grief of different magnitudes. Grief can be one of our greatest teachers - to truly understand what it feels like to be powerless over something and choose to surrender can be freeing. Whatever we are fighting against or resisting right now might become our biggest lesson learned. In healing parts of ourselves, we contribute to the collective mending and can hopefully rebuild a more optimal way of life for the health of all human beings and for our planet. This is all temporary but the effects can be lasting.

Apr 14th: Last night I dreamed I was surfing. I donned a backwards hat like the one Peggy wears in this photograph. The energy of the powerful wave propelled me steadily toward the shore. My body was relaxed and with effortless balance, I gracefully moved along with the current. In my waking life I have only been surfing twice and to be clear, I’m overwhelmed and often fearful of the ocean’s current - it’s power, fast pace and it’s relentless chaos. In the past handful of years I’ve found myself clashing with society’s current as well. I’ve tried to go the opposite direction, outsmart it, or not want to be a part of it at all. And I’ve either been drowning or have barely stayed afloat. So I find it ill-timed that in this historical moment of high uncertainty and mass chaos, I am suddenly riding this wave (asleep and awake) as if I’ve ridden it everyday my entire life.

Apr 15th: Mega Gratitude - In April 2005 I moved to Austin. This project has been an unexpected 15 year trip down memory lane. Some of these people I’ve known for the duration of the time I’ve been here and others I met sprinkled along the way. Moya, this lady right here with all the beautiful kids, once co-founded a school a long time ago and I was lucky enough to teach photography at it for seven years. It was just the right time in my life where that experience changed me, cracked my heart wide open, healed parts of my teenage self, and brought an abundance of love into my life. I was also gifted some of the best friends I will ever have (lots of teenagers that are now adults, their families, and a few staff). These friends feel like family and I feel so much love for these people that at times I don’t know what to do with it. Thank you for being the facilitator for all of this love, joy, and growth, Moya. I’m grateful you showed up on my path.

Apr 16th: As much as I’ve been talking about how society feels unbalanced and skewed, I did experience community coming together in a powerful way recently for some long-time friends. It was a drop everything and help out kinda drill. We all shook the Earth and listened and danced to our friend’s favorite songs while he fought and healed through many ups and downs during his 70+ day stay in the ICU. In late February the family finally got to wind down back at home together just in time for a global pandemic 😉. Not to mention a handful of other great examples: in the past month, I’ve seen friends making masks for health care workers because our government is unable to help out. My neighborhood is making sure elderly people have what they need. We are all checking in on each other. Enough people made noise about voting by mail in Texas and it worked, at least for the moment. This is the strength of community. We all do better if we can lift each other up in times of need, donate money or time to causes, fight for the rights we all deserve, and rely on each other (because we can’t and probably shouldn’t rely on the government to help us). There are incredible acts of love happening all around us.

Apr 17th: Has anyone else stopped shaving their armpits just for fun?

Apr 18th: When experiencing joy during this epoch, I’m noticing how it radiates through all of my senses more clearly. HEARING: Fiona Apple’s new album - eyes wide, mouth agape, while involuntarily rising from my desk chair a handful of times. VISION: seeing my wife laugh loudly while wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt, camo sweatpants, red Adidas track jacket, and white Birkenstocks. TOUCH: standing barefoot outside, looking up at the dark sky, while rain lightly spritzes my face and hair. SMELL: the soothing blend of Palo Santo, Geranium, and Clary Sage diffusing. TASTE: the herbal infusion of a fresh oregano sprig steeped in hot water. 6TH SENSE: allowing the energy of creativity to channel through. It’s valid to not find joy right now, too. But experiencing joy will be what moves us through this.

Apr 20th: I’ve never known time to be elastic like it is right now. Time feels like it’s expanding and contracting instead of its usual unforgiving linear/relentless upwards trajectory with no breaks or stops. When the economy reopens will we continue to accept burnout as a normal way of life? Will we continue to accept a very low standard of behavior in our government and its institutions? Are we on the brink of something? I can’t seem to shake this curiosity.

Apr 21st: As I was turning the corner driving down Will’s street listening to 105.3 The Bat (pop music nostalgia for 40 somethings), “I’m Just A Girl” by No Doubt came on the radio. When Will’s persona, Fancy Sumatra, greeted me at the door I realized that the lyrics “I’m just a girl, living in captivity” took on a whole new meaning in 2020 than they did in 1995. Fancy Sumatra is in literal captivity when she should actually be at the Coconut Club.

Apr 22nd: This week I’m feeling tired. Before, I would have fought through it and carried on. But I’m allowing myself to “just be”. In this vortex so much less is crammed into a week, a day, an hour, or even a minute. There’s nowhere to be but home. Here’s to self compassion, forced rest, and protection of energy being the priority always - pandemic or not.

Apr 23rd: The creepiest things I’ve seen this week are my targeted Instagram ads for stylish Covid-19 face masks and “elevated” loungewear?!

Apr 24th: Alex, the incredibly talented filmmaker in this photo, taught me a centering practice around 7 years ago to do that is one of my favorites today. I’m passing it on.

~ Close your eyes and focus your attention on any noises you can hear in the immediate room you are in. Listen for a minute. Now bring your awareness to any sounds directly outside of the room you are in. Listen for a minute. See if you can stretch your awareness even farther away, maybe across the street, and see what sounds you can hear. Listen for a minute. Bring your attention back into the room and open your eyes. ~

Apr 25th: The past 13 years have been spent versed in the practice of removal. At times I’ve removed so much in the external that I think maybe I could’ve been a monk in another life. But there’s a delicate balance of creating an inner world and integration plays a part too. Much has been cleared and removed externally and internally that for the first time in awhile instead of considering what it is that I want to remove, I’m now asking what it is that I’m willing to add or let in. Kind of remarkable timing.

Apr 27th: Dreams are vivid lately. I have been presented with three large mirrors that are all portals. If I jump through the wrong ones I’ll end up somewhere I don’t want to be. I choose the right portal but instead of entering another dimension, I end up in a similar location with the same choice presented again. So I am actually getting nowhere, really. Björk is also watching me do this and she’s very excited.

Apr 28th: Experiencing some major deja vu in week seven. It’s much like being a teacher on summer break (at least if you are someone that is out of work). At first, it’s a total shock to the system to not be constantly working, doing, and thinking all hours of the day. By week four an alarm clock is no longer needed as your body has adjusted to naturally waking at a decent early hour and the acceptance of peace and quiet arrives. Week seven hits and there is an unnerving feeling as you find yourself bracing for the tidal wave of noise and heavy planning that will inevitably come your way. Here we are at week seven and that unnerving feeling is the reopening of Texas on May 1st. Based on what TX Republican government leaders have said regarding protecting human lives vs. the economy, their “plans” seem extremely negligent and dangerous at best. Especially for at-risk and more vulnerable communities. Do Texas government officials know something that we do not?

Apr 29th: A huge storm woke me up at 5:30am this morning. As I was leaving the Astral Plane, En Vogue was left in my awareness. I had been dreaming that all four women were dancing down my street singing only these lyrics over and over: “free your mind and the rest will follow”. In all fairness I was watching early 90’s R&B music videos before I went to sleep (but not En Vogue so they must’ve felt left out). The actual song is about something else entirely but since only this phrase was repeated over and over, I’ve decided to interpret that En Vogue is trying to tell us that collectively we are all relinquishing control. The perceived control we think we have is comprised of a series of habits. These habits that serve to protect us can sometimes end up being psychological burdens. If we don’t become a prisoner to our thoughts we can be set free. Thanks, En Vogue. Janet Jackson please visit me next!

Apr 30th: I’m curious why we’re really all that surprised when the Lt. Gov of TX says “There are more important things than living” in regards to fully opening the economy and potentially risking more lives. Why would senseless deaths from Covid-19 be any different than the senseless deaths from police brutality, death from guns, minority women dying in childbirth at high rates, violent acts against women, a broken foster care system, or keeping children in cages? Does it really seem off-brand that those who probably have lower-wage jobs with little to no health insurance will be the first to be exploited by our government? We are pretty much a reflection of a culture that somehow we aren’t willing to dismantle. Do they know something about Covid that we don’t? Things aren’t making sense.

May 1st: Being brought back to all of my senses fully is one of the things I hope to preserve moving forward. A couple of times a day I’ve found myself in awe of the life sensation that sits just in my fingertips. With my hands in my lap, palms facing the sky or ceiling, I can feel the energy moving and bouncing in each fingertip. Reminding me I am in and of consciousness - the aura of freedom.

May 2nd: One of the recurring themes that I’ve noticed when visiting friends is how astonishing it is how we’ve learned to adapt as individuals or family units. We learn what’s best for us and we keep moving toward that. Some pressures have all but vanished while other ones have grown louder. Mostly everything in our lives are now up for negotiation.

May 4th: The meaning of luxury will of course differ for everyone but living a life without overconsumption, eating organic food from soil that hasn’t been depleted, being mindful of the earth, and living a freer life in terms of having more time feels like luxury.

May 5th: I don’t know why it just dawned on me that Kelly, Linda, and their grown sons Michael and Joel (in the framed photo that Linda is holding) are all feminists but they are. Nan, Linda’s mother in her 80’s (not pictured), might be the biggest intersectional hardcore feminist I’ve met. A family of feminists that for generations have carried healthy levels of the feminine and masculine energies. The world has been tipped out of balance for a very long time centered around the masculine economy (hyper crony capitalism) where profits over people, inequitable distribution of wealth, obsession with productivity, a disregard for the earth, and no accountability have reigned. I might be naive in really hoping business models in the future change. It’s hard to stay positive when learning where small business relief money and tax provisions in the coronavirus relief package are going. Looking at this photo, I let out a huge sigh of relief and appreciation, hoping there MUST be other families out there like this. Our future and society depend on it.

May 6th: Depending on the situation, some families are set up in a way where they are savoring this time with their kids while the majority are simply in survival mode. I see families with two full-time working parents that have demanding jobs while trying to juggle homeschool/childcare. Families with one working parent and one stay-at-home parent where the brunt of homeschooling/childcare falls solely on one parent. And most especially, single full-time working parents with kids at home have been actually doing the impossible for eight weeks. I wonder if this pandemic will reshape our views of roles in the family regarding childcare or if companies will rethink what the term “job flexibility” really means for families during challenging times.

May 7th: In reopening the Texas economy the choice is to either try to make a living in potentially unsafe conditions or to protect your life. Can there be economic health without public health?

May 8th: One of the aims of this project is to see how our society shifts during this time. This pandemic gives us an opportunity to start from scratch to create a world rooted in social and ecological rights, justice, love, and respect. Things the people in all of these photos wish for. It is understood that if we merely just focus on reviving the economy, we will have not learned anything. At week 8 it appears as though we (as a collective) have not. This week I’ve seen people using their free speech to protest the wearing of masks and demanding haircuts. What if this outrage was redirected in demanding justice for people like Ahmaud Arbery or protesting police brutality in the Bronx or Brooklyn? What would our society look like?

May 11th: You know things are getting really weird when Axl Rose calls Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchen an asshole and then proceeds to drag him even more. Welcome to the Jungle.

May 12th: Last Thursday night we got out for the first time and went to Zilker Park to see the last supermoon of the year. We ran through the open and empty field, arms outstretched. It was dark, windy, and 75 degrees at 9pm. Saw a few friends at a safe distance and we howled at the moon whenever it emerged from the dark clouds and danced. Went home very grateful and happy.

May 13th: It has been the case for a long time, even before this current administration, that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Tax breaks for the wealthiest have only accelerated the gap. During this crisis, the largest corporations continue to receive unlimited money from the Fed. Companies like Google, Facebook, Amazon - the usual ones, no surprises there. People were already suffering far before this crisis. At this point in time wouldn’t the proper approach be to try to reconstruct society in such a way where poverty isn’t an option?

May 14th: The past few months have been really quiet. At 4pm yesterday I was startled when loud aircrafts flew over my studio - so loud my body rumbled from the noise vibrations. I learned it was the Thunderbirds performing a flyover as part of “Operation America Strong”. The sentiment is meant to be a nice gesture to say thanks to healthcare workers, first responders, and essential workers. To be honest I will never remember this gesture but I will remember the continued lack of preparedness and mixed messages by our government from January - present. Would it be an even greater gesture and an act of compassion to take the funds that it costs to run “Operation America Strong” and put that towards supporting vulnerable populations, mental health resources, the growing food insecurity…anything that is actually helping American people to be more strong?

May 15th: A little mantra that works for the greater collective (we), for someone else (you), or for yourself (I): We are healthy. We are strong. We can do hard things. We are loved infinitely. We can find safety in uncertainty.

May 18th: How different would the world be if there was more compassion and generosity? Peace, paradise, pure love, and heaven on earth (whatever you’d like to call it) are attainable if you carve out time to cut out the noise. This requires looking within, which in turn allows the spread of compassion and generosity to others more freely. I’m fortunate to have lovely and hilarious friends that exude compassion and generosity that is beautifully weaved throughout both their professional and personal lives. From their example, I’ve seen how to live a more fully integrated life that powerfully affects the people around them in positive ways. Our government is handmaidens to corporate interests. It’s apparent that many leaders of our country and of corporations are emotionally wounded people that in turn perpetuate a cycle of toxic self-interest and destruction instead of compassion and generosity. What if we chose to only support businesses that acted more compassionately and generously toward their workers, the environment, and communities? Could society be different?

May 19th: Civic engagement has the ability to positively transform communities, cities, and nations. We’ve also experienced firsthand the consequences of an apathetic civic engagement. Voting safely by mail, especially during a pandemic, would allow us to not have to choose between voting and our health. Last Friday, the Texas Supreme court put this decision on hold which doesn’t make much sense given that right now the state of Texas is reporting the largest daily increases in Covid-19 cases. The upcoming election is something that weighs on nearly everyone I’ve talked to. In order for our republic to survive, at the barest minimum, it’s vital that we are able to easily vote.

May 20th: Bra ads on Instagram keep coming my way which is hilarious because I’m like, “What is a bra and why did I ever wear one before this?” So, way off target, Instagram - read the room.

May 21st: Starting back in March I’ve found myself closely examining, being curious, and re-evaluating everything. Ironically, during the stay at home order, my world has somehow become much larger instead of smaller. Certainty and stability are illusions. The programming and the social conditioning I’ve grown up in/lived with has been a lifetime of many snags and loose threads that I’ve been yanking at since I was about five. By now these loose threads are unravelling pretty freely and I’ve been experiencing an energy leading me where I need to be. I don’t exactly know what is ahead but that’s probably the best part of it all.

May 22nd: Right now, in this very moment, take a deep breath. Hold it in and count to five. Exhale slowly and blow out your breath. This freedom is ours at all times. Be free.

May 25th: The world is still slowed down. If we find ourselves speeding up with “the reopening” have we not learned much at all? I will never rush unnecessarily ever again, never stop taking in my surroundings, and will never take for granted that the sun rises and sets everyday.

May 26th: When I look back through the photos on my phone since March, it is filled mostly with photos and videos of my cat. Embarrassingly, I don’t have much storage left on my phone because of this. I’m pretty sure cats would prefer that we all go back to our regular lives so that they get some alone time. In our house it’s 2 people to 1 cat. In this house pictured, it’s 8 people to 1 cat. The cat in this photo might be the MVP of quarantine.

May 27th: Who wants change? If we do then I guess the real question becomes: Who is willing to change? Because it will require that we all make changes, even starting small, in order for collective change to happen. That’s the kicker - because our government doesn’t have our best interest, the environment’s best interest, or the world’s best interest in mind. It will take the majority to love humanity, the environment, and the idea of equity + equality for all more than we love our own self-interests. Our daily decisions and actions will need to reflect and be in support of these things in order for change to come. Every day we have the opportunity to co-create a new way of life. Are we willing to do this? Perhaps at some point, we can elect a government that carries our same values, that fights for these things as well. But until then is it up to us?

May 28th: Whatever we focus on grows, broadens, and expands. Love, peace, health, joy, creativity, curiosity, relationships, and humanity have been at the forefront of my personal experience these past few months. This energy is what is moving me through it all. It’s also important to acknowledge that others are not having this same experience. I’m learning that it’s important to make space for anger because this has also been my truth too. What we suppress, resist, or don’t acknowledge also tends to grow and persist louder. My anger solely comes from seeing the continual murder and violence happening to black people at the hands of police, no justice, crony capitalism, people profiting off of this crisis and not giving anything in return, and a corrupt government. Anger simply is an indicator that something is wrong and signals injustice. Anger, if channeled well, is a form of energy that can demand and spark change. Make space and honor all feelings because they are valuable and useful.

May 29th: Again, a major focus of this project is to see who we are as a society during this time. Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Mike Ramos, and George Floyd - almost all murdered by police officers from within a system that was manifested from slavery. This is part of the reality of who we are as a society in May 2020. We can’t simply meditate or pray this away. There’s no curiosity, no questions to be asked in this post because the answer will always be if there is no accountability, there is no justice, then there is no peace.

June 1st: Scott and Stephanie, the generous folks in this photo, give all of the harvested food from their farm to the local food pantries. Meanwhile, American billionaires have gotten $600+ billion richer during the pandemic (and the pandemic isn’t even over yet). Keep following that money y’all! It would cost around $30 billion to end hunger in America. 2 million in NYC (1 in 4 people) face food insecurity. Millions of Americans are living in chronic economic trauma. I think poverty will have to be addressed as more and more Americans continue waking up to the fact that the system is working exactly as it was designed and intended. Why is poverty never a talking point?

June 2nd: While people come together to protest for justice and peace in major cities and small cities alike, we have now reached 100,000+ COVID-19 deaths in the US. I can’t shake this feeling in my gut that corporations and the government are thrilled we are “distracted”, meanwhile they gain even more money/power and billionaires will continue to grow their wealth. At this point it seems like we are not really facing what we are going to do about the pandemic, but instead how to respond to government and corporate actions. Usually when we are confused about something or something feels “off”, it’s because we don’t have all of the information. This gigantic lack of information, all of the government chaos, societal unrest, and this powerful revolution is keeping me in a state of curious energy and leading me to ask much better questions.

June 3rd: Start imagining a paradigm shift. Which way do we want this all to go? What world and reality do you want to build for yourself and for others?  What conscious action must we take to make this happen? I imagine the old world burning itself to the ground, and I no longer choose to be a part of it. I acknowledge I will have to learn how to navigate it because it will take a while to crumble. So in between that time, which I believe to be now, I will need to start building a parallel reality. I will continue to heal myself so that in turn I can share that healing energy with others, which in turn helps heal the world. I see I have so much opportunity within myself to operate from a place of love and unity at all times despite the commonalities and differences we all might have. No force, no fear, no hate. It is my hope that all things shift for the better. It’s hard to say this right now when there is so much suffering, but joy and creativity are forms of resistance.  This is not work I will be doing for a few months.  It will be for the rest of my life and I will be consciously aware of it.  What energy do we want to bring forth when partaking in the reconstruction of this new world?